Hellish Torment?
Separation from God is no joke.
What the hell hell is, has caused some controversy in the world. In the churches I grew up in, Hell wasn’t a place we talked about very often. I generally think this is to these churches credit, because it forced them to talk about how good God was, rather than how terrible hell is. I remember one sermon where the pastor broke down that hell was eternal separation from God very briefly. That brief moment is seared into my mind. What that means is something I unpacked for a decade before I felt I came to any kind of successful conclusion.
The irresistible fact about God is that God is. If that’s not something you’re okay with, it’s gotta be horrifying every time you’re reminded of it. God can always see us, but we can’t always see him. This should comfort us, but to those of us who don’t understand God’s nature, it can feel like the eye of Sauron staring at us from on high. Our sin is often accompanied by shame, and shame hurts worst when exposed.
The church so often treats sin as something God is freaking out about, but the reality is that most of us spend some time there basically every day. While sin hurts him more than it will ever hurt us, it also isn’t something he’s freaked out about. Sin in God’s eyes is like dirt inside the house. He wishes it wasn’t there, and he would like us to refrain from making a mess, but he also recognizes that our souls are dirty and we won’t get clean without him.
Sin is like soul dirt. It is the impact of moments where we’re separated from God existing on a quantum level somewhere in spacetime, ruining reality a little bit, just like dirt you track in from outside by failing to wipe your feet on the mat ruins your mothers living room. Every time we choose sin or God, we steer the world one way or another in whatever small way we can. This happens across every axis of our life in every way we treat people and every choice we make with moral ramifications(which is most of them). I’m convinced every thought we have in our heads ripples out in every direction at the speed of light for the rest of forever, impacting other people’s lives in ways too subtle to ever prove.
We live on a spiritual axis between God and The Enemy. Because it’s a spiritual axis, it is infinite. Human spirits cannot reach either end. Every human soul and every other spirit we’re remotely capable of comprehending exists between God and The Enemy, who is the very essence of sin.
Make no mistake, to come against the throne of heaven is madness. To come against the throne of Loki or Thor is to war against them, but to come against the throne of God is simply judgement. You throw yourself against God as long as he tolerates you to, and then he does whatever he wants to you in response.
In his love, he gives these mad fools fighting his omnipotence what they want most, a place without him. God chose to call us his children, and that infuriated The Enemy. As great as he was, he was created to be a servant, not a child. He was the greatest of the servants, with powers and responsibilities far beyond that of many children. However, even the lowest child of the Lord of a manor is greater than the greatest servant in the eyes of a good father. He might not trust the child with his credit card like the servant, but the child always has a place in his house. The servants place in the house is dependant on continuing to do a good job.
I think that’s why one of the most enduring metaphors of heaven for me was always the one from the song “My Father’s House” that I sang in church growing up. Heaven was a big(BIG!) house, with lots(AND LOTS!) of rooms and food. One where everyone was welcome to come and get fed and get better, with no pressure to leave. One where we were all welcome, and didn’t have to worry about taking up space, because there was no shortage of space.
Satan was like a trusted longtime butler to Mr. God demanding that unless that useless failure of a child Hollis was cut off and thrown off the property forever, he was quitting effective immediately. Mr. God chose his son. He always chooses his children over a servant, no matter how great a servant he is.
I’m not always in my father’s house. The Father always greets me with a smile and a super enthusiastic hug every time I return. He’s a good father like that. Burning in hell is what I’m doing every minute I’m ignoring his presence, somewhere else, without any help from him.
There’s only one way to be in heaven, and that’s to be in God’s presence. There’s an infinite number of ways to be in hell, but they all share a commonality. Hell is the endpoint where everyone is burning so hot they keep lighting each other on fire. We can get a taste of this in the form of dysfunctional relationships that bring out the worst in each other, or dysfunctional workplaces where everyone is phoning it in and nobody wants to take responsibility for anything. When an environment is overflowing with evil, it inspires the worst in others. The deeper the dysfunction around a person, the more of a saint it takes to be a light in it, rather than simply sinking to the same relative level as everyone else. Eventually you hit a level of darkness so deep that it cannot be overcome by mere mortals, and those who want to shine a light must simply flee or be dragged down into the darkness. That is the essence of hell.
When we look at the spirit world through this lens, we find that hell isn’t some place of fiery torment where pleading sinners are thrown, screaming for mercy. Rather it is a place where all our own worst impulses are allowed to run rampant, consuming our higher selves in the process. God doesn’t want this for us. He gave us the tools to transcend our suffering and march on toward heaven anyway.
Now the Bible does talk in the book of Revelation about a lake of fire that Satan, his demons and at least one false prophet are thrown into forever and ever. That raises the question of what is left over after a person’s spirit burns away completely.
The Eastern Orthodox church has a curious belief that I generally share, and it has led me to reject the idea that the separation from God found in hell is eternal. They teach that heaven and hell are actually the same thing. Both heaven and hell are the manifest presence of God brought to full intensity. To the believer who sees God’s presence as a source of comfort and joy, the presence of God is experienced as a river of living water, soothing, nourishing and healing. It flows into us, invigorating us and giving us life. To those who flee God, his presence is an all consuming and inescapable fire, hunting us down to the edge of reality. Even in hell, where we are as far away from him as we can possibly manage, we occasionally look up in the sky and see his all seeing eye on us, calling us home. If you think you want to be in hell, this will always be terrifying and fury inducing.
That lake of fire is when we burn away completely. All that’s left of us merges back with our creator. There is no torment or pain. We simply return to where we came from…God’s presence. Those of us who come to him willingly will share in the authority of God as his trueborn children. Satan and his demons and that false prophet will simply be. They will know the error of their ways intimately. They will see their evil clearly, and their will will fade away, replaced by God’s perfect will for them. This process will be intensely painful, but the pain is self-inflicted. When it is over, they will rest in our father’s presence too. They will no longer wield any power or authority, but neither will they flee in terror from God any longer.
*A PRAYER FOR GRACE AND MERCY*
God I thank you that your love never leaves or forsakes me. I thank you that there’s nowhere I can run where you won’t come running after me. Help me to turn to you when the world weighs me down, instead of burning myself out anywhere else.